Ever feel like your other half doesn’t quite get you? Or you sometimes don’t get them?


You often feel that you’re living on a completely different planet to them, it’s as if you’re always doing more for them or that they simply don’t listen when you bang on about what it is you need to feel happy.

I’ve been reading this book The 5 Languages of Love. The idea is that we all have a language of love but when you’re in a relationship it is often the case that you don’t share the same language. In order to understand your other half better and for them to understand you, you need to know what both your languages are and what it is that makes you/ them feel loved. Once you’ve nailed this, you’ll be well on your way to a balanced/equal relationship.

The languages are:

Quality Time

  • This is actually spending time with them, not in front of the TV or at the cinema, but doing an activity one on one where you are sharing a quality experience. Apparently it’s at its best when you’re doing an activity that they love and know you don’t love as much, but appreciate you doing it for them. Beware, if it turns out they love S&M and want to chain you up and whip you, and you don’t feel too good about this, you don’t have to do it.

Acts of Service

  • When they do something for you that they know will make a big difference to you. Such as taking the bins out, giving a blow job, or making the bed. These things are not something they enjoy doing, but they know it makes a difference to you so they do it for you.

Physical Touch

  • In bed snuggles, public displays of affection (not groping in public, just holding hands perhaps), concentrating more on foreplay then getting their rocks off. Or agreeing to sex at least once a week.


  •  Yup that’s right, some people feel loved when they’re given gifts. This can be anything from a new Chanel bag or simply to a stone you found on the beach you walked on together or even a book that they thought you’d love to read because you’re so into global warming.

Words of affirmation

  • This is telling them how good they are, randomly telling them that you love them, complimenting them, and encouraging them in whatever they want to do, not what you want them to do though. This should be done daily, not once in a blue moon.

Take the quiz to find out your language. In the next blog I will be going into each language and giving examples of how you can talk yours to them and vice versa.

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