First Date – Who Pays?

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OK you’re coming to the end of your date and the bill has been asked, what stance do you take? Obviously he is going to pay, he needs to impress me. OR. Let’s go halves as that’s only fair.

My thoughts go like this. You are both working people just trying to make a living, so it’s not fair that he is expected to pick it up, what happened to equality and all that? It’s a first date, neither of you can be sure of where it will go, so it’s always best to leave it on a nice note, with him leaving and thinking yea that girl was super cool; even if you’re not for each other, you never know he may have some fit mate tucked away and with great compliments from him the fitty could be yours….

However, if it does lead to another date you have set the tone for the type of lady you are: Independent, Not a Skank and Respectful. So when the next bill comes on the second date, you can happily lean back and let him pay – you have already paid your dues, no need to go overboard now.

Lesson to Learn: Don’t be cheap and pay your way (at first) once they’ve fallen for you, you never need to think of this again. What’s his is yours and all that….

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Not Sure Where You Are In Life?

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Pretty dramatic statement I know. And quite honestly I can’t sit here and pretend to tell you how to get to know ‘where you are in life’, as I am still searching. But I can share some tips.

Firstly, I am a true believer in taking risks. The risk is never that bad, (unless you have a family to provide for, then knuckle down and make the dollar!) if something  doesn’t work, then find something else, no biggie.

Pen, paper and write: what is it at this current time that makes you happy, what do you enjoy doing, it’s about the now…. What don’t you enjoy, that’s important too, so you can see it clearly written down and not fool yourself into doing it again.

Remove all jealous feelings of others, that’s one of the most pointless past times. You don’t even want to do what they do, and yes they may seem happy right now, but maybe next month their company will go bust or their heart will be broken, they won’t seem so happy then!

Lesson to learn: Take risks, be bolshy about trying to find what you want to do and don’t fret about where you’ll be in 5 years, if you’re not living in the present then how will you even get to the future.

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Where’s The Honeymoon Gone?

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We have all been there, 8 months into your relationship and it suddenly hits you. You’re not banging everyday, you can’t remember the last time you went on a date and you certainly don’t have any qualms about wearing your pjs and white gone grey pants. What has it come to….?

You are both to blame, unless you have constantly nagged your partner about it and they’ve done nothing to help the situation (then break up with them there and then). But in most cases this is simply the norm. I am not saying you must accept it, but you must realise it and then change it – only if you still like them of course, sometimes when the rose tinted glasses come off and the sex becomes boring, you realise it was only lust and they should be binned anyway.

But if you fall into the category of wanting to make it work, do the following:

  1. Throw away your rank underwear, swap for sexy/feel good stuff.
  2. Don’t have sex at the exactly same time of each day (week/month) change it up. Do it before you get into bed, maybe straight after work or before supper, surprise them and surprise yourself, no one likes routine sex….
  3. Plan date nights, 1 every two weeks (let’s be realistic). You have 1 week they have the next. If either of you fail to keep it up – punishments should be dished, I know for me what the ultimate punishment would be, down.
  4. Take a weekend break, don’t scrimp on it, go somewhere sick.
  5. Go to Ann Summers, a treat for you and a treat for him.

Lesson to Learn: It’s unrealistic to think a relationship will continue to be what it was like in your honeymoon period, you must understand this point, want to make a change and more importantly actually want to be with that person, the rest is simple with a bit of work.