Feeling Fat, Sluggish and Lazy…

We have all been there, constantly reprimanding yourself for having eaten this and that, for not getting up and going to the gym or for letting that hangover get the better of you and being sofa bound.

This is NOT a blog on healthy living, eating and being up my own arse.

It’s simple. Put that biscuit down, no you DON’T need that pizza and you certainly shouldn’t be reaching for the haribo. Drink a litre of water, put your exercise clothes on and hit the gym, this does not include a slow long run (you won’t loose any weight) I’m talking a HIIT class, Crossfit or Boxing. Stop being fat and lazy. You can thank me later.

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Can’t Stop Checking His Page….

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We have all been there, no matter what anyone says, everyone has been hooked on psychotically checking his page, every time you log on you can’t help seeing what he has been up to, who he has befriended, where he has been. This often leaves you feeling anxious, bummed out and unhealthily angry.

Just STOP for a second and think. It’s almost like a form of self harm, it’s not about him but about you. He represents everything you thought you were going to have, the dream, your number 1 forever and then he wasn’t so. But the fact it wasn’t so is exactly what you must remember, it wasn’t bloody right, had you of continued down the path with him, you’d end up a tranquillized divorcee with 3 children and no money (extreme perhaps but possible).

Right now you need to transition past the feel sorry for me, hate him phase and go to being in the Present Phase. Present: Your great mates, the fun you can have on a night out not knowing what or who might happen, the freedom, being selfish and not feeling bad. See?

Lesson to Learn: His page might as well be a black hole, up to you if you want to get stuck in the vortex or climb yourself out and into unicorn land where anything is possible.

 

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Sunday Blues

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It’s Sunday, the last day of the precious weekend. The hours are flying by, you’re not even enjoying this day of freedom, all you can think is URGH tomorrow… The fear creeps, the endless thoughts of how you can get out of tomorrow, how much work you have, what you’re boss will bang on about now. Before you know it, you blink and that’s it, Sunday has gone… What a waste, what have you actually done with your Sunday?

How to change this: When you wake up Sunday morning fresh or hungover. Write 1 goal you want to achieve for that day. Stick to that goal, if you can fit a couple more in do. Have a 10 minute meditation, take your mind off the fear, it’s a wasted feeling. Grab a coffee or drink (for the hard nuts) with a mate, much better to get distracted with their issues than wallowing in this feeling of despair. Then after all of these steps, write a pros & cons list of your job (you must be in the right frame of mind to not be negatively biased). If you really can’t see anything good out of it, change it. You’re not stuck in something for life.

Lesson to Learn: You are your own boss, anxious feelings every Sunday should tell you something isn’t right, you just need to figure out whether it’s them or you. Once you know, you can change it.

 

 

What Did I do Last Night? Drunken Blackout

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It’s the morning after the night before. You wake up with a hazy head and little recollection, one burning question, What Happened Last Night???

First thing you need to do is get out of bed, take a shower and make a coffee. And answer these questions:

Was the evening fun?

Did you get to have a bit of a release after a long ass week of work?

If you’re single did you meet any cool guys? If you’ve got a boyfriend is he still talking to you?

If the answers to the above are all positive then we are 70% of the way to being able to relax and enjoy the hangover.

Lastly, pick up the phone, call your best mate and get her to fill in the blanks, so there won’t be any nasty surprises. If you have perhaps done/ said something a bit stupid, you can then address it.

And boom, these steps have taken you to a peaceful hangover, where you can grab a cheese sandwich and quavers and snuggle up to watch How To Loose A Guy in 10 Days! Perfection.

 

 

Your Dating Chat Don’ts – Ladies

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Ladies

  • Don’t tell them you’ve heard about their bad boy rep in the hope they’ll spend the next 30 mins trying to convince you they’re a one lady guy, oh and yes you’re their one lady. It either makes them feel like the don (and in fact we are wanting them to make US feel like the don) or really it just puts them off because put simply it’s stinky chat.
  • Don’t tell them you’re a super chilled out girl, not even looking for a relationship just wanting some fun. We ALL know that’s a lie. But also won’t help you’re case when you’re trying to manoeuvre the ‘what are we chat’ because that’ll be slammed right back at you. The fact is you don’t know if he’s the fun sex one or the one to marry down, so for now just keep sipping your drink.
  • Don’t even bother going down the avenue of telling them you’re not a first date kind of girl. If you’re back at theirs and prancing around in your underwear, then you basically are. Either own it, like yea I am going to shag you this eve, because I have needs so make sure you try to meet them please. Or you kiss after the last bar and go home to play with your rabbit….

 

Lesson to Learn: Having a good game is none of the above, anyone using those topics can expect a lifespan of 3 dates. Just be cool, naturally cool…

 

IT’S 3AM, WHAT A GREAT IDEA TO CALL HIM…

Everything has been going swell with countless daily messages, apart from you haven’t heard much from him today, come to think of it nor yesterday, hmmmm something doesn’t seem right, women’s intuition and that. Right, I’ll go out with the ladies, sink a wine or four. Then BOOM, your fingers are dialling him, no no you hang up (or a mate hangs up for you!). You rush to the loo and send a text in secret, ‘hey, what’s up, all ok? Haven’t heard from you in a while… Im just out with the girls having a great time’. Enter the beginning of the end.

 2 points here to note. You NEVER message the guy first when you’re on a night out, you’re having far too much of a good time to be thinking of him. Exception to this rule, if he texts you first – you want to show you are girlfriend material and of course can go out and still be contactable (not completely off your face where you forget all morals!). Second point, his behaviour might have changed a little in the build up to this fateful night, but DO NOT let your brain run in circles, RATIONAL thought is key – men simply don’t check the algorithms of their previous texts like we do.

Lesson to learn: If you know you, delete his number before going out. Give it to a good mate (just in case he texts you and you need to make sure it is him) but only under those rules. You can get the number back the next day, when sober in the cold light of day.

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